I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize