Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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