we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
