i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
