wakey wakey hands off snakey
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
