Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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