I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
