I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
