she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
