He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
