I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize