The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
