omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
