Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I need to calm my uterus...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
