There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I've blown a few things in my day
if only i could text you this smell
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
