I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
