hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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