tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
