I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
