that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I am one with the molecules
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
