I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
