I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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