tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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