school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize