I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
