The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
