Define "chronic" masturbator.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize