bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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