how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize