How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
