just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
