I'm drive I can fine osifer
she woke up with a sticky ear
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
