Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
