She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize