4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
