He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
