You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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