If that was your dad, he is hot
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize