Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
