Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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