she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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