I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't think brook has ever known best
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
