and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize