why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
