You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
