I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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