mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
