p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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