lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
