sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
