it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
