if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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