So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
