He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
