like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
