Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
my god I love twenty year old dicks
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
