Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
