Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
