I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
