it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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