What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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