Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
