For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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