Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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