shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Why is your signature on my underwear?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize