I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
