we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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